You or Your Guests are Neuro-Spicy? I’m With You…

I am a person with ADHD. I have other ND family members and a decent number of friends with diagnosed or undiagnosed neurodiversity of varying types and degrees. I am also a former Development Co-ordinator for a charity promoting inclusion with people who learn/think differently.

My entire career has been pinned to three things: creativity, community, and inclusion. When it comes to creating ceremonies for people who think, behave, react, or learn differently, I truly am in my comfort zone.

That doesn’t mean though, that it doesn’t stretch me. Every new person and situation is different and deserves my most curious mind. Finding solutions to the question, “What is going to make this feel like a safe and welcoming space for this person?” is a BIG part of my job. Probably the most important part.

Conversations & Creativity

People’s needs are individual. You can’t actually just Google, “autism-friendly ceremony” and get answers. I mean, you will get answers, course you will. But they may not be true to you or the people attending your ceremony.

The answers we are looking for come from conversations, creatively deconstructing expectations and finding new, better ways to celebrate or commemorate. And the brilliant thing about that, is that deconstructing norms and expectations leads to a more personal, memorable, inclusive ceremony. (It’s also my absolute favourite thing to do). You may find you come back to a really traditional or simple ceremony; this isn’t about tearing everything apart for the sake of it. But think of it as a beautiful process of carefully lifting each aspect of ceremony up in front of us, examining it from multiple angles, polishing it up for use, or putting it on the discard pile.

I Don’t Have All The Answers

In fact, I’ll probably begin with more questions than answers.

But I do have a deep sense of conviction that inclusion matters. And I believe it is possible to be creative enough to find ways to make everyone feel welcome… even if for some, that is - say - printing an extra copy of the ceremony script so they can go and sit alone in a tree and read it while everyone else gathers to bear witness. (I dearly love a little someone who would love that approach if he had to go to a wedding).

So this is not the blog that’s going to tell you how to go about making your ceremony inclusive and ND-friendly. But it might be what you need to read to reassure you that there are answers somewhere - we just need to get creative.

Let’s delight in making your ceremony work for you, and for everyone you want to invite.